The Ricciardi Letter Part 4

The Ricciardi Letter Part 4

Make Time for Members Ricciardi must sound incredibly perfect to you. He had his weaknesses. He rarely worked with members. His sense of independence to a certain degree was a weakness (stubborn plus Italian is quite the combination). Ultimately, the members of the church are the best way to bring people into the gospel as I am sure you already know. Truthfully, a lot of members were intimidated by Ricciardi’s brash personality. Ricciardi always felt guilty when we were at member homes because cultivating member relations takes time, and he always felt like time was too precious. Hence, he saw member missionary work for the most part as a waste of precious time. Nevertheless it is extremely difficult to be a good missionary without getting the members involved. Take the time to do that. Lesson Learned One important experience I had, not with Ricciardi but because of Ricciardi, was a life changing event for me. After my first two months Elder Ricciardi transferred to another city. I spent the next two months with an Elder who had three months left on his mission. To be candid, he was “trunky”, which back in the day was a term for “ready to pack his trunk and go home”. Our first morning together he woke up at 9am(I had companion study alone and watched him sleep for over 4 hours), we left the flat (apartment) and had breakfast at a local café (which in my first two months with Ricciardi we had never done because we were both too poor to spend any money) and we basically took a day off for my new senior companion to acclimate to his surroundings. At first, I felt relieved. It felt good to just relax. We got along great, laughed a lot, one P day we left our area boundaries to play golf (something Ricciardi would have considered a sin AND it was against mission rules to leave your area without permission). The days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into a month. I started not sleeping well because I knew we were not doing the right thing. I was pressing this Elder (who was the senior companion) about street contacting, going to the local schools in the afternoon etc. He just wanted to take it easy. We had long lunches, we “hung out” at members’ homes, we changed P days on occasion to accommodate site seeing. By the end of our first month I felt sick. I realized that Ricciardi’s influence, which I was so happy to get out from under, was now in me. I knew what the right thing to do was. Soon enough my senior companion and I began to not get along. We began fighting (not literally, but verbally). One night after companion prayer, as we were going to bed, I went to his bedside and asked the Elder why he thought we were not getting along. He said “You are way too uptight Elder. Ricciardi must have brainwashed you or something”. I told him that we got along initially because we were both relaxing together. But we were not getting along now because one of us wanted to work harder, and one of us didn’t. I told him that if I was the one in the wrong to simply let me know. He agreed that we had essentially taken a month off. The next day our vigor for the work returned. I’m not trying to take credit here, but when transfer day came, I was transferred from Loughborough to Birmingham. This Elder thanked me for being able to share my frustrations effectively. I had used Ricciardi’s conversation word for word. Whenever you are not getting along with your companion, ask yourself “who of us wants to do right in this companionship.” If you get along great with your companion, ask yourself “are we getting along for the wrong reasons (mutual lack of obedience, work ethic, dedication, spirituality etc) or for the right reasons.Teaching with The spirit in D&C 50 verses 13-14, 17-22 it says:13 Wherefore, I the Lord ask you this question--unto what were ye ordained? 14 To preach my gospel by the Spirit, even the Comforter which was sent forth to teach the truth. 17 Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? 18 And if it be by some other way it is not of God. 19 And again, he that receive the word of truth, doth he receive it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? 20 If it be some other way it is not of God. 21 Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receive the word by the Spirit of truth receive it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth? 22 Wherefore, he that preach (Missionary) and he that receive (investigator or companion), understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together. A few weeks into my companionship with Elder Ricciardi, I was ready to be the lead in teaching a discussion. I was nervous. We were teaching a family. The husband was a very articulate knowledgeable man. During the discussion, I really felt what I thought was the spirit. I say “thought” because it is a big challenge of a missionary to decipher if you are actually feeling the spirit, or if you just happened to be in a good mood. You know…you might have received a really awesome letter from home that morning, breakfast tasted especially good, your uncle sent extra money. Who knows the reason, but there is still personal doubt as a new/experienced missionary as to what would cause the kind of euphoric good feelings you might have while teaching someone the gospel. Anyhow, we reached a point in the discussion where I spoke about the First Vision. Deep emotion came over me as I recounted the story. Elder Ricciardi looked at me and I could tell he wanted me to identify the spirit that was there in our discussion, Ricciardi was feeling it too. Again doubts cropped into my mind, but I looked at the husband and said “the spirit is here with us, confirming the truthfulness of the things we are saying. How do you feel right now?” He replied “I feel fine, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it the spirit. You have a nice story to tell, it is interesting”. I didn’t know what to say, but Elder Ricciardi reliably stepped in. “Sir, that good feeling, as subtle as it may feel, is the spirit, letting you know these things are true”. Again, the man was adamant that he certainly felt good, but would hardly call that the spirit. Again, Ricciardi responded “Sir, we feel the spirit, and as representatives of the Lord Jesus Christ, can assure you that this same spirit is touching you now. We know this for one simple reason, we are telling you the truth, we feel the spirit, and the Lord has told us in the scriptures that when the preacher preaches by the spirit of truth and the hearer receives it by the spirit of truth, both are edified. In other words, because we are teaching you, we know if we feel the spirit, you feel it as well.”Again, the husband said “well, I also just had a cup of my favorite coffee, how do you know my good feelings aren’t from that?” Ricciardi replied, “Because there is no reason at this time, as we are teaching, for the Lord to ONLY want to edify US at your expense of time and hospitality. We know that you feel it, you may not understand these feelings at this time, you might not even want to agree with us on this matter, but we know you are feeling the spirit.”We were hastily asked to leave this man’s home. He definitely did not take kindly to the suggestion that he did not want to admit to assigning his good feelings to the same thing we were. Here is why this is such an important story. Those verses above unveil a very powerful concept vital to missionary work. When you are teaching by the spirit of truth, and you feel the spirit, know this…that the hearer of the message is feeling it too. Whether it is to the same magnitude as you or the same emotions is not relevant. Whatever “extra” good feeling they have, no matter how subtle, is the Lord’s promised mechanism from the above referenced verses that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth? Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together. Now that experience seems like we certainly did not “rejoice” together, but that was the investigators choice, his freedom, if you will. Is this so? How are we to know? The truth is, the spirit was there, he felt it, we felt it, we identified it, and he chose to assign those feelings to something else. That is ok. He has that agency. But we did what we were supposed to do, knowing that the promise of the verses from D&C 50 indicate that if we feel it as the preachers of truth, the hearers are feeling it to. I testify to you that this is how missionary work gets done. Many will react as the man I just described. What you must come to terms with is that the Lord distributes his spirit in these discussions, but it is still a world of agency. Did we understand one another in the way the verse above meant? Perhaps only in the sense that we made clear the spirit was there and he made clear that his good feelings about our message doesn’t necessarily mean it was the spirit. Nevertheless, the spirit was there, we felt it, and he felt it, and he kicked us out, and we KNEW we had done what the Lord wanted us to do (or should I say that Ricciardi did what the Lord wanted me to do).Elder Ricciardi did not need him to agree with us to know that the spirit touched him, because the spirit touched us WHILE WE WERE TEACHING HIM THE TRUTH. If you will embrace these verses, open your mouth at all times in all places (just swing), be strictly obedient, your mission experience will change your life forever. These are courageous moments to boldly tell someone they are feeling something they don’t either understand or necessarily agree with. But here is the key, many will “rejoice together with you” and many won’t. You must be ready to make that bold statement when the spirit prompts, and not let fear (that tool of the devil and the devil alone) creep into your heart. BUT IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW THE PROMPTING, you are keeping investigators from the chance to understand that what they are feeling is directly correlated to the truth they are hearing. Remember, you teach truth and feel the spirit, know that they are feeling the spirit too. The difficulty comes in the courage to identify and explain it to the investigator, and the investigators willingness to accept that this is what’s happening. When you have meetings where the preacher (missionary) and hearer (anyone you are teaching, which includes your missionary companions) understand one another and rejoice together, it is life changing. Remember, this event still may not end in the investigator being baptized, but that does not take away from the courage to recognize and identify the spirit when teaching gospel truths, and the effect that such experiences have on you personally.You will not feel the spirit in every discussion that you teach, I sure didn’t. When you do feel the spirit, know that the spirit is not just touching you for your own personal edification and leaving everyone else in the discussion “out in the cold”. Heavenly Father can provide you those feelings of the spirit in your own private moments. While teaching investigators, he gives you those feelings to let you know that “he that preacheth and he that heareth” are in the presence of the spirit of truth, who is there to confirm the words being spoken. Don’t let an investigator who denies or chooses to not acknowledge the presence of the Holy Ghost make you lose confidence or else your future investigators will miss the opportunity to be taught the importance of what those feelings actually mean, and that those feelings come from God.The wisdom of our God is epitomized in the missionary program of the Church. The Church asks young people to have a goal to be worthy to “serve a mission”. What the outside world sees as brain washing, the Lord sees as striving for something so important that one would shun the vices of the world to not lose the privilege of serving a mission. Think of your life in 10 year increments starting from when you are baptized at 8 years old, from 8 to 18, 18 to 28, 28 to 38, and 38 to 48 and on and on. What 10 year segment contains the most life changing events? Answer: 18 to 28. So the Lord understood the value of kicking off that critical time of your life with a mission. What better commitment for such an important period than to forget yourself for 2 years, delay formal education, and focus on God, Jesus, and everyone else but yourself. It is the perfect example of the classic scriptural saying “to find yourself, you must lose yourself”. You gain 10 years’ worth of life experience from a mission. You leave at 19, 21 for the sisters, and return with 10 years of life wisdom and experience crammed into 18 to 24 months. In that age segment of 18 to 28, not necessarily in this order, you serve a mission, get an education, marry, choose a profession/occupation, and have children. There is no other 10 year increment with so much hanging in the balance. Wow, what a wise Heavenly Father to place the mission experience as the springboard for such a critical decade of life.