The Ricciardi Letter Part 3

The Ricciardi Letter Part 3

Leaving on a Loving Note I must say in spite of what seemed like an uncomfortable end to our teaching of the “golden family”; Ricciardi always had a way of leaving people open to future opportunities. Occasionally we would be in the middle of a first discussion and you could tell the people we were teaching looked bored, not interested. Suddenly they would interrupt us, cut us off mid lesson saying, “thank you, but we aren't interested”. Most missionaries would want to try and salvage the situation, perhaps talk the investigator's into becoming interested, you know, click into "salesman mode". Not Ricciardi. He would close his scriptures, give a big Italian smile, and would ask for a favor. He would say “Thank you for your time. If missionaries should come knocking on your door a week from now, a year from now, or twenty years from now please let them in like you have allowed us. Because though the message will be the same, you will feel differently. Will you do that?” A year after being with Ricciardi I was knocking doors in Nottingham, England when a man answered and we taught a family that let us in their home because 9 months earlier they had “promised an Italian chap” if any other Mormons came by they would “let them in.” Did we baptize this family in Nottingham ? No. But when I left their home, I asked the same favor of them... again. Who knows by now how many other missionaries have entered homes that Ricciardi so kindly asked that favor of. When people reject the message, they are not rejecting you personally. Learn to shake off taking rejection so personal. Remember when I mentioned earlier that when rejected, Ricciardi gave that big smile? I always thought he was smiling to be polite before asking them to allow future missionaries to come again. He told me politeness was a small part of his big grin. The real reason for the big smile was gratitude that we could now move on to other fields that are white and ready to harvest. He loathed wasting time.Facing Rejection which brings me to this critical point. I can honestly say that one of the most valuable lessons I learned from Ricciardi was the importance of viewing rejection as positive. Yea, sounds crazy huh? Take a minute and look through his eyes for a moment. He believed that when we were experiencing rejection, it was an opportunity to prove our commitment to the Lord. He felt that it was an opportunity to prove to the person rejecting our message that we are truly servants of the Lord. It's amazing the effect it has to smile at someone who is being rude to you, perhaps even yelling and cursing at you, making fun of you and then respond like Ricciardi and say "sorry to upset you, please have a nice day, if missionaries come by someday in the future please don't be mad, give them a chance". I would get angry during one of these confrontations and as a young "don't know much" missionary let my temper get the best of me and say "you shut your mouth" or “come out here and get me off your porch” (sad to say I actually did say that once…or twice). To be honest, in my early, immature first few weeks, fighting back made me feel better. It didn't take long to realize that it would be a very long 2 years if I spent it telling mean people that they are ignorant and to shut up. When I would say to Ricciardi, "why did you apologize to that jerk" he would say "because it makes me feel happier". He understood that happiness is truly a choice, not a random event. He believed that rejection of any kind was a sure sign of the FACT that God lives, and was an affirmation of the rightness of our mission. One thing I remember vividly about Ricciardi was his ability to not let things get him down or upset. In fact, on the more difficult days (and you know there are always plenty of those), he smiled and laughed more. On those particular days I found his extra dose of "happy smiling Elder" annoying. Yet again he would prove its value to me. He would say “Elder Humphrey, I know we are in tune with the Lord, because He sent us to a neighborhood where no one wants to listen, and they are mean and confrontational. When I am prayerfully led to these kind of situations, it confirms we are being led by the spirit because Our Father knows how bad this neighborhood was going to be, and expected us to leave 20 houses ago. Yet here we are!!! This is awesome!!!” (By the way, Ricciardi’s favorite American word was “awesome”). It was this kind of talk that led me to conclude that something was either not normal with my Italian compadre OR he was one of the three Nephites. After seeing how, and what he would eat, I eliminated the “three Nephites" theory. When I was in high school, I worked at a golf course. I became friends with the assistant pro and he started to give me free lessons. I quit after about 10 lessons for one simple reason: I was frustrated by the 55 things you have to think about almost simultaneously in order to have a good swing. The club pro finally advised me to stop taking lessons, go play and do one thing for him, just swing, swing, swing. That’s it. Do not give any care as to where the ball goes, just swing. He told me “Danny, you will enjoy golf better by just swinging”. The same applies to missionary work. Ricciardi saw the mission experience as incredibly simple. He understood that his mission was to speak to as many people as possible and that was it. Yes, there’s a lot more to it than that, but a mission is nothing without talking. He would tell me “stop worrying about what you’re saying, just open your mouth and say something”. I took that advice to mean the Lord would always fill my mouth with exactly what to say. Truth is, I said some pretty stupid things, offended people many times (mostly accidental of course). But I began to enjoy missionary work when I concentrated on getting out the door and opening my mouth. Like the golf pro said "just go out and swing".Getting the Elusive Second Appointment Ricciardi had this brilliant way of getting in the first discussion and committing new investigators to a second appointment. He would say “If we took that family portrait on your wall and cut it into six pieces, and placed one piece in the frame, would you be able to comprehend the picture? Much like that one piece, we have given you one of six pieces, and for you to truly understand the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, we would like to give you the other five pieces and see what you think? Will you allow us to do this?” I actually found the more we loved the people of England and EXPRESSED that love to them; the bolder we could be without upsetting them. Two Priests Ricciardi was very knowledgeable on the scriptures. I recall street contacting in the town center, when I saw two catholic priests across the courtyard walking up a ramp. I didn’t want to have any conflict on this particular day so I went to Elder Ricciardi and slyly suggested that we had spent ample time in the town center. He agreed and we began to put on our back packs. I was hoping we could leave before the priests noticed us or vice versa. It was while we began to ride out of the main mall area that Ricciardi spotted the two priests. He stuck his arm out to motion for me to stop. Ricciardi turned to me, let out a small Italian chuckle, and said in his thick Italian accent “We must stay, Elder”. As the priests approached us one of them said “Ah the Mormons!” Ricciardi responded, “That is correct!” The priest said, “Out preaching about your Jesus today, eh?” Ricciardi responded, “He is your Jesus too, we do not want to monopolize him!” The priests did not find his clever response humorous though I almost fell over with laughter. At that point I didn’t even know Ricciardi had a sense of humor. The priests then turned into bashing mode and went on a spiritual tirade that lasted about 15 minutes. The whole time I was waiting for Ricciardi to unleash his scripture “Bazooka”. (His scriptures where legendary in our mission for being marked up for theological warfare). I did not know much about Ricciardi at this point in our companionship, but one thing I did know; he was powerfully knowledgeable on the scriptures and theological doctrines of other churches, with a particular fondness for Catholicism, which is the religion he was raised in. I had never seen him in action per se, and I was sure he was going to just dismantle their intellect with a tirade of his own. (For the record I discourage bible bashing for its contentiousness, but I must say watching Ricciardi at work was a sight to behold). To my surprise Ricciardi did nothing but listen intently. It frustrated me! “Come on” I thought, “they’re winning for crying out loud!” Ricciardi just listened, occasionally nodding his head in acknowledgement of what they were saying. Then Ricciardi slightly tilted his head to me and out the side of his mouth whispered, “Watch this.” Suddenly Ricciardi raised his hand in front of the priests as a signal for them to stop talking, and in a deep voice said “can I ask you a question?” His sudden movement nearly startled them right out of their robes. He leaned forward into their faces and said, “Do you believe in the Holy Ghost?” The priests answered, “You mean the spirit of the Lord, the spirit of God, the Holy spirit? Of course we do!” Ricciardi replied, “That is good. May I ask you another question? Do you believe the Holy Ghost knows all truth?” The priests said. “Of course we do, we preach that in our own church, all Christians must believe the Holy Ghost knows all truth!” Then Ricciardi replied, “That is good. Do you believe the Holy Ghost reveals truth to men?” The priests came back with, “Yes! Do you think we are fools?” Finally Ricciardi asked, “Will you do me a favor?” “What do you want” they replied. Then without warning Elder Ricciardi’s voice took on a powerful tone that I had never heard him speak in before. I could have sworn he had a microphone in hand and that there was an echo to his words. “Please do two things before we come to visit you tomorrow at four o’clock (that was the invite). I ask you to open your hearts and have a desire to know the truth, because if you have done these things before we come tomorrow, the Holy Ghost, the same Holy Ghost we have spoken of, will visit you and confirm unto you from within, the truthfulness of the message we will bring. I also want you to know that what you are feeling now……. is the Holy Ghost of which we have spoken!”Tears filled my eyes as I stood there next to Elder Ricciardi. I pondered on how the power of the prophets of old caused people to quake, thinking those stories were relegated to a more ancient time and that things like that just don’t happen anymore. I was wrong. The spirit was present and the priests looked really uncomfortable, I thought “Holy cow, they are actually feeling the spirit!” The priests had a silent and uncomfortable reaction to Ricciardi’s bold claim. Unwilling to admit what they were feeling (perhaps unable to define what it was) I contend to this day they know they felt something that spring day. The priests declined Elder Ricciardi’s request and they promptly laughed at him as they immediately walked away. It was the kind of uncomfortable laugh you give when you are unsure of yourself and you simply want to get out of the situation. In tears I turned to Elder Ricciardi and smiled. He laughed and said, “They felt the spirit Elder, in high voltage!” We laughed and rode off, feeling like fearless servants of the Lord, called to preach his gospel to his people, that they might have everlasting life. The day Ricciardi was transferred he admonished me to do as we had done that day in the park. “At any time should fear creep back into your heart, open the Book of Mormon to any page, read, and the book will remind you of who you are. Once you are reminded of who you are and what you have been called to and by whom, you will ‘fear no man!’.” Many missionaries forget from day to day the power that has called them to this calling, which stands behind them every single day of the mission experience. Measuring your Success as obedience I learned many things from all my companions. Yet without a doubt Elder Ricciardi had the greatest influence on my mission. All my “Ricciardi” experiences were not like the meeting with the catholic priests, much of his influence came in the little tidbits of wisdom he would share, and without a doubt the hardest work ethic of any missionary I knew.In my mission, statistics over the prior ten years (1976 to 1986) showed that the average missionary had 1.3 baptisms per year. In other words the average missionary, after two years, would baptize 2.6 people by the conclusion of their mission. My district learned about this statistic the day before we left the MTC. I remember how disappointed I was at the prospect of spending two years to bring two and six tenths persons to the Lord’s church. Elder Ricciardi trained me when he was 8 months out on his mission. Up to that point he had baptized over 60 people. He ended up leaving the mission with over one hundred baptisms. He would never talk about his baptisms. In fact it was not until the end of my mission when I was working in the mission office that I had the opportunity to look up his extraordinary accomplishment. One of the most challenging elements of the mission experience is how to judge whether you are a good missionary or not. It is baptisms? Is it number of lessons you teach? There are missions in the world where a missionary after 2 years experiences no baptisms. There are missionaries who find a family of 12 on their doorstep asking to be baptized (think South America).The dilemma of new missionaries is to learn some way of gauging effectiveness and success. It is natural to use number of baptisms as the gauge of success. While number of baptisms is important, there is a far better more valuable gauge: Obedience. I knew of missionaries in my mission who did not live mission rules, were not as committed as I think the Lord desired, yet they baptized. I really struggled with that because when I left the MTC it was my firm understanding that only obedient missionaries baptize. When I saw disobedient missionaries having baptisms, I began to con myself into thinking that getting up on time; reading scriptures, and other seemingly trite “white bible rules” didn’t necessarily correlate with baptisms. I began to perceive that it would be easier to relax and baptize than to work so darn hard, be so disciplined and not baptize. That “One Soul” is yours. Every missionary goes through a drought period in their mission life. A period of time where they are fighting homesickness, praying harder than they ever have, are living more righteously than ever in their lives up to this point in time, and no one seems interested in hearing the gospel. It is at this time that the Lord tests you as a missionary. The reason, I have always believed, is to see if you can be trusted. Father in Heaven has an incredible work to do to prepare the earth for the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. The mission field has a dual purpose to bring souls unto Christ, and to sift us as missionaries into the parts we will play throughout our lifetime in building the Lord’s kingdom – to prepare us for “leading” OR prepare us for “following”, both are important, but what are followers without leaders? The missionaries who recognize the drought and remain strong to the higher law of missionary work (absolute obedience) end up converting the most critical investigator of all…themselves. You will be your greatest conversion in the mission field. In D&C 18: 15-16 it says: And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!I contend that the “one soul” is you. Imagine the insanity of sending 19 to 21 year old young people all over the world to be the ambassadors of something as critical as the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. Frankly, it sounds crazy. But factor in a couple of things. Do most missionaries enter the mission field converted? I can only speak for me. I wasn’t. I had good feelings about the church, seminary, Joseph Smith, the Gospel, etc., but converted? Not to the degree the Lord desires. That is the beauty of the mission experience, the Lord entrusts us to dispense his critically important message, knowing full well that in the process of delivering that message an unusual process occurs where the teacher of the message and the hearer of the message are both becoming converted AT THE SAME TIME. Not every hearer will be baptized, even though they feel the spirit. Not every teacher will become converted. But here is what I do know, if you are absolutely obedient to the mission rules, YOU will become converted, and at that point you have accomplished what should be the greatest result of your missionary service. At the same time you have the opportunity to bring others along the conversion path smack in the middle of your own conversion. That is why mission success CAN ONLY HAVE ONE GUAGE, YOUR PERSONAL CONVERSION. This only comes from one attitude, that of absolute obedience. Baptisms happen or don’t happen. Teaching opportunities can happen or don’t happen. The blessings of the converted missionary last far beyond the mission experience. Learn this critical principle, all you need to do for 2 years is make sure that nothing but the truth comes out of your mouth to every single person you can possibly speak to (in golfing terms, just swing). Leave the conversion part to the spirit, but your own conversion comes from that type of focus, baptisms or not. “How great shall be your joy when you bring save it be one soul” unto the Lord, and that soul is yours. That is the answer to what in my mind (and experience) constitutes a successful mission. Ricciardi did not let the statistics keep him from becoming a powerful missionary. But his effectiveness came from his own conversion to the Gospel of Jesus Christ in the mission field.You will find that 80% of the missionaries do 20% of the work, and 20% of the missionaries do 80% of the work. It is unfortunate but true. That is why the greatest conversion that should take place in the mission field is your own! That is what is so incredible about missionary work, the closer you bring others to Christ, the closer you get to Christ yourself. I am not just talking about when you teach investigators and less actives, the missionary work you will do to help your companions come closer to Christ, and they for you, is a powerful work in and of itself, let alone the work to those who do not have the gospel. Ricciardi would say “All you have to do is open your mouth Elder Humphrey, that’s all”. Ricciardi and I would challenge each other that once we walked out the apartment door we would not let one person walk by without telling them who we are. I remember many mornings where we never left our street because there were so many people to stop. Ricciardi taught me to work smart. Every weekday at 3:30pm we stopped whatever we were doing and would never schedule appointments at that time of day. Why? Because we would go to the local elementary schools and greet parents as they were picking up their school children. In England, parents walk to school to pick up their kids. We would find a few families and walk them home as we discussed who we were and what we taught.